It was 5 am, my eyes gritty with lack of sleep, and a voice blaring over the speakers announcing that we could still buy gifts from the gift shop was the straw that broke the camels back. I was done with this fucking ship. Done. Pack it up Matty, because we are going to be first off the boat.

It started off as a lovely day. We strolled down to the Florence train station and rode a few hours to Ancona to catch an overnight Snav ferry to Split, Croatia. We had opted for this way of travelling, as we had never been on a cruise ship. We were frightened that they would be an expensive floating RSL, and we would go stir crazy being on a boat for days. An over night boat, with multiple dining options, live music, games room and the like sounded like a bit of fun, and would get us where we needed to go. It was a bit pricey, but what the hell.

It started ok. We jumped on the boat and were directed to our room. The room was tiny… it had a bunk bed and a toilet IN THE SHOWER. What the actual fuck. We contemplated upgrading to a nicer room, but decided against it… it was hundreds of Euro to upgrade, and it was only one night. Some people didn’t even have a room; they opted for a chair in the main area, like a plane or something. We sucked it up, had a shower (ew ew ew) and went to find the bar.

Side note, Matt had a shower with the curtain enclosing the toilet. It ended filling the bowl up (and possibly over flowing onto the shower floor). I used the curtain to exclude the toilet from my shower. Much better result.

Bonus! We found the bar and were allowed to take the drinks outside and watch the sunset! It was so beautiful. We spent a couple of hours watching the sun go down and breathing in the ocean air.

It was all down hill from there. The “dining options” were a shitty buffet or a American style restaurant with the most awful looking food. The “live music” was a guy on a keyboard who sounded like a tone deaf Barry White wannabe. The “games room” was a tiny room with 2 pokie machines. We ate dinner (shitty buffet) and decided we’d turn in early. We had a big week ahead of us anyways.

As soon as my head hit the pillow I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. The ship engine was SO LOUD. The bed was incredibly uncomfortable. The pillow was thin and the mattress was lumpy. I tried to stay quiet so I wouldn’t keep Matt awake (who could sleep through anything), and through the tossing and turning I dozed a little… until 5 am.

At 5 am some douchebag decided it was a good idea to yell across the PA system that the gift shop was open… every 15 mins until the boat docked at 7 am. Imagine me, in the bottom bunk, yelling at the top of my lungs to “shut the fuck up” and “I fucking hate Snav”. I packed up our gear and got us on the exit deck, ready to be the first off the boat.

Fuck you Snav – Split, Croatia

Not a good start to a week in Croatia, where we were supposed to be partying every night and sailing every day. I wanted to sleep on dry land, never seeing a fucking boat again. Oh well, chin up and get a breakfast beer for that morning grumpiness.

And in case you didn’t get the underlying message: never ever fucking travel on a Snav ferry.